Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter
How We Can Hinder Our Own Growth
We can easily get “stuck” in our character development and emotional development and maturity when we are blinded to opportunities that will benefit us. We may not set and achieve goals because we may not believe we can achieve them or are worthy of achieving them. Opportunities for learning that can bring much value and personal growth and development are lost. What are these barriers that can blind us and prevent us to become the best we can be? Here is a list of some of not all of the common ones we all frequently deal with:
- Comfort with status quo
- Familiarity/normalization of discomfort/dysfunction
- Egoic needs
- False beliefs related to personal power
- Skewed perception
- Lack of resources
- Lack of a support system
- Need for acceptance
- Character disorders
- Low “selfs:” Low self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect
- Too much shame
Once our souls are nourished, we feel complete – happy – content – valued. We know how being liked, loved and desired makes us feel. We set and achieve goals because we know how achieving them makes us feel and that we are worthy of the outcomes. However, too much emotional toxicity or pain along with distorted thinking can starve the spirit for nourishment and exceed the pain threshold our brains were designed to handle. We get stuck in a pain seeking and pain avoiding state rather than use the experiences to benefit ourselves. We become emotionally malnourished. And when our souls are not nourished or are depleted such as from abuse, overwork, and invalidation, we feel trapped, inadequate, and become unhappy, emotionally fatigued, depressed, sad and, even worse, traumatized.
When our souls are routinely starved, we also run the risk of three things:
- Believing falsely we are the source of the ensuing pain and discomfort; and/or
- Blaming something or someone else for them; and/or
- Feeling unsafe in our own bodies.
All harm us more because they cause us to feel more pain and stop us from taking action that we need to learn from and that nurture us and sustain our joy. You cannot heal at the same level of thinking that causes your chronic emotional pain. Sustained emotional stress also results in more physical damage to the body because the human body is comprised of integrated interdependent systems. The neurological system is connected and interrelated to all the body’s systems, hence, healthy body, healthy mind and vice versa. In essence, when you mess with nature, you mess with your own divine authentic and integrated design. To be happy we have to learn and embrace a healthy life style that includes not only our physical fitness but also our fitness related to our achievements and relationships and our emotional health.
Learning to become the best we can be is a life long process and take hard work and courage. Read more on authenticity and building character in The Five Pillars of Personal Worth, Power, and Authenticity.
How Do We Convert Work to Wisdom
Notice that all of the items in this list above relate to perception of pain, fears, and discomfort and one’s ability to deal with them. So this is why it takes hard work and courage to build character and to heal, to change, to adapt and to be able to source and build your authentic personal power.
We convert our work and our efforts and our discomfort into lessons of wisdom that we use to drive our decisions and beliefs and chisel our characters that we source for power and resilience to set and achieve goals that we are confident we can attain and are worthy of attaining. Making mistakes along the way and course and thought correcting are how we develop and mature our personality and character qualities and the corresponding belief systems on which they rely. So the integrity of our beliefs impacts our character and vice versa. This is how we become who we were put on this earth to be and how we learn to integrate into society, work, and relate to ourselves and others in healthy ways. In the process, we learn to develop, rely, build, and sustain our authentic power and draw on it confidently when any challenge that warrants it arises. This “process” allows us to act on our legal rights and free will to pursue unhindered what makes us happy.
Remember. When we know better and that we are worthy of the knowledge then we do better. This is also why working to build self-worth and self-compassion, which many of us are unfamiliar with and in childhood may have even been punished for or discouraged from learning, can open the flood gates to healing and personal growth and development.
You can read more here on why self-compassion and self-care are so important to emotional health.