Why Understanding Personal Power is Fundamental to Healing for Abuse Survivors

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Personal power is a recurring theme in my life, in my Blog, Facebook Page and podcast show because it is our perception of our personal power that is fundamental to healing that is most damaged by childhood abuse, neglect, and invalidation. It is also an area that is frequently misunderstood. So I dug … Continue reading Why Understanding Personal Power is Fundamental to Healing for Abuse Survivors

My Thoughts on President’s Day: It’s Time for the World to Heal Its Pain

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “If you lack the values or the integrity of character on which the Constitution was founded, its value will have no meaning to you, but its power will.” Humans, all humans, are designed to be the happiest when we are acting on our free will and setting goals and working towards achieving them. In … Continue reading My Thoughts on President’s Day: It’s Time for the World to Heal Its Pain

The World Needs to Heal and Take Its Power Back

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “The fabric woven by our forefathers that sustains our livelihood and supports our collective happiness and emotional and physical fitness is unraveling. The needle on the moral and ethical compass that supports them has been replaced with a pain- and fear- based one. So rather than use and improve the system that sustains and … Continue reading The World Needs to Heal and Take Its Power Back

Profound Lessons on Humanity and Healing after the United States Presidential Election

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter I am going to start this article with the following excerpts from the description of the mission and vision at the Yourlifelifter Facebook Page. You will see in a moment why. “Yourlifelifter is a specialized healing and information center for narcissistic abuse survivors and others seeking emotional freedom.” “Yourlifelifter was founded by Evelyn … Continue reading Profound Lessons on Humanity and Healing after the United States Presidential Election

How Living Alone and Being Single Build Emotional Health

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “Living alone kicks us into self-benefiting actions that build the personal stamina and skills, knowledge, and abilities that allow us to become resilient, self-sufficient and self-assured, self-reliant on ourselves to bring us joy, optimal health, and the relationships that nurture our soul. Living alone allows us to have ‘skin in the game’ of our lives and … Continue reading How Living Alone and Being Single Build Emotional Health

How Much Do We Need to Know About Narcissism to Heal?

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter The legitimate healers as well as influencers and authors, the real game changers on social media like Kristin Walker, Melanie Tonia Evans, Dr. Lynne Namka, Glynis Sherwood, Dr. Judith Orloff, Christine Louis de Canonville, Kim Saeed, etc. know that ours are not necessarily the most popular websites and Facebook pages. We understand … Continue reading How Much Do We Need to Know About Narcissism to Heal?

A Look into the Future of Your Healing Journey

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Excerpted from Take Your Power Back: Healing Lessons, Tips and Tools for Abuse Survivors. How will your recovery and healing after narcissistic abuse look and feel to you? Everyone’s road to recovery is different. We all learn, process information, and cope differently. But how will real recovery look? The survivors and thrivers say it is wonderful, … Continue reading A Look into the Future of Your Healing Journey

Facebook and the Power of Healing

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter As the owner and founder of Yourlifelifter, a healing page on Facebook and website that serve as “A Truth-Based Healing and Information Center for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors and Others Seeking Emotional Freedom,” I have witnessed first hand the miraculous healing power of social media.  Facebook and the World Wide Web have allowed me to provide … Continue reading Facebook and the Power of Healing

On Functional Medicine, Truth, and Healing from Abuse

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~ Albert Einstein Let’s look at traditional medicine and ask the same question that Doctor Phil frequently asks: “Is it working for you.” Well, it is very obviously not working for the patients who continue to suffer … Continue reading On Functional Medicine, Truth, and Healing from Abuse

How Abusive Childhoods Cause Us to Sabotage Our Health and Happiness

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “We all have inalienable rights to pursue life, liberty and happiness. Absolutely we do. However, if we are prevented from pursuing them because we have damaged the only vessel that we have to travel in that journey, we are sabotaging not only our own health and happiness but also our children’s by teaching them … Continue reading How Abusive Childhoods Cause Us to Sabotage Our Health and Happiness

How Do We Heal and Mourn After the Loss of a Narcissist?

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “We, in essence, have to heal and grieve from multiple doses of betrayal and the accompanying toxic shame and self-loathing and exaggerated feelings of powerlessness.” Narcissistic abuse survivors are frequently told to “get over it and move on.” This is not only ridiculous and inappropriate, it is also impossible. Abuse victims have suffered … Continue reading How Do We Heal and Mourn After the Loss of a Narcissist?

Why Understanding the Differences Between Harm, Fear, and Real Danger is Fundamental to Your Healing and Well-Being

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter I write frequently about the differences between aggression and power.  I’d like to expand on this topic as it relates to harm, fear and danger a bit more because understanding this is critical to your healing We Believe Falsely that We are Defenseless After we are repeatedly harmed, our fear and other pain-based responses … Continue reading Why Understanding the Differences Between Harm, Fear, and Real Danger is Fundamental to Your Healing and Well-Being

Understanding Why Narcissists Targeted You is Fundamental to Healing

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Are you compassionate? Empathetic? Well, if you are, you are one of 40% of the population who are a prime target for scapegoaters, bullies, narcissists, con-artists, and sociopaths who comprise a subset of the remaining 60% of the population. So being a “nice” person is your double-edged sword and most likely why … Continue reading Understanding Why Narcissists Targeted You is Fundamental to Healing

Am I a Narcissist? – Being Narcissistic Versus Being a Narcissist

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter No doubt that narcissism is a hot topic with we all being such a self-centered lot on top of the pandemic of pathological narcissists wreaking havoc in government and even those posing as healers on social media to support their parasitic need for adulation even from the victims they victimized.  So we … Continue reading Am I a Narcissist? – Being Narcissistic Versus Being a Narcissist

Why are So Many Politicians Pathological Narcissists and What Can We Do About it?

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter“Criminals, parasites, incompetents, and predators running for public office cannot announce to their targeted hosts and prey their true intent can they? What do they like all predatory and parasitic animals do? They use camouflage to mask their true intent. The truly evil members of the human race know what makes people of … Continue reading Why are So Many Politicians Pathological Narcissists and What Can We Do About it?

Happy Holidays!

Dear Yourlifelifter Community Members, Happy holidays and joyous blessings of the season. Many thanks to all of you for your support in making our Yourlifelifter family a reality, and supporting our common mission of healing, truth, compassion, respect, honor, and authentic love. You, we, your children are all worth it. Together we are making the … Continue reading Happy Holidays!

Narcissists Exposed – How Narcissists Create Illusions to Fool Us

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “Narcissists bomb us with lies and irrational beliefs to skew our perceptions of our own (male or female) and others’ personal power and worth. They frequently surround themselves with a posse of low-character ‘flying monkeys’ who support them in the ‘lie bombing.’ They target the primary beliefs that trigger our fears and … Continue reading Narcissists Exposed – How Narcissists Create Illusions to Fool Us

Corrupt Politics? Dysfunctional Family? No Difference. This is Why.

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Pathological narcissism is now a worldwide pandemic. Why? Because narcissists’ food supply of emotionally unhealthy people who are vulnerable to their manipulation tactics is abundant. And the population of predators always thrives when the food supply is good. Case in point. Now the FBI is warning people who are exposing crime in … Continue reading Corrupt Politics? Dysfunctional Family? No Difference. This is Why.

Tips to Know When You’re Being Used and How to Protect Yourself (Especially for Empaths)

We all have basic needs for survival regardless of our level of privilege, status, and title. These include, food, love, shelter, safety, self-actualization (achieving your potential, happiness). To meet these needs, sometimes we give and sometimes we take because our living conditions change. Bad things happen to good people, right? Nothing is ever static. So … Continue reading Tips to Know When You’re Being Used and How to Protect Yourself (Especially for Empaths)

How to Effectively Identify and Deal with Emotional Moochers

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter I read something disconcerting today. Someone was making derogatory comments about people in need and taking handouts, what we commonly refer to as “moochers.” Here are my thoughts relating to mooching as it applies to emotional health, relationships and current events permeating our lives. What is Mooching? Mooching is a necessary part … Continue reading How to Effectively Identify and Deal with Emotional Moochers

Useful Tips to Identify Toxic People in Your Life

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter I write frequently about the damage of narcissistic abuse in families and the pandemic of pathological narcissism across the world. I am also committed to help people not only heal from narcissistic abuse but also protect themselves from the immeasurable harm from toxic people, relationships, and environments. In fact, these lessons are pretty easy … Continue reading Useful Tips to Identify Toxic People in Your Life

Terrorism, Politics, and the Pandemic of World-Wide Narcissism

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “We are a world in crisis because we have not improved our wounded faulty thinking. Because we as a collective have not healed and have not effectively battled the ‘evil’ component of humanity and society who we continue to birth, promote, be exploited by, vote for in key decision-making positions, and allow … Continue reading Terrorism, Politics, and the Pandemic of World-Wide Narcissism

Why the Narcissist’s Leaving is a Blessing

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter I’d like to clarify a huge misperception related to relationships, narcissists, and abandonment that will help facilitate recovery for narcissistic abuse survivors. Now, any normal human being would think that if the person they love abandons them and leaves (for no obvious or apparent reason), then something is wrong with me not them. The normal human … Continue reading Why the Narcissist’s Leaving is a Blessing

Narcissists, Character, Work, and Obligation

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter We can see the biggest differences between narcissists and authentically “good” people when it comes to work, commitment, and obligation. Can a narcissist be nice? Sure! Can a narcissist be charming? Of course! Do narcissists have redeeming qualities, talents, skills, abilities? Sure, they do. Can narcissists work? Absolutely. They can work very very hard! … Continue reading Narcissists, Character, Work, and Obligation

Do Narcissists Target Other Narcissists?

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Narcissists do not limit their targets to just nice people or empaths. In fact, they target anyone who is willing to provide them narcissistic supply regardless of the source. Remember that narcissism is on a continuum so the levels of severity in their depravity vary. Nevertheless, regardless of who is the worst or better narcissist or more … Continue reading Do Narcissists Target Other Narcissists?

A “Dear John” Letter to a Narcissist

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter I am posting this letter I received with permission from the author that describes poignantly the pain experienced from narcissistic abuse as well as the power we all have to heal after narcissistic abuse! I would like to thank the author personally for trusting me with her heartfelt, gut-wrenching, beautiful, powerful and courageous words. … Continue reading A “Dear John” Letter to a Narcissist

How Abusers Use Your Vulnerabilities Against You

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Maladaptive behaviors do not spontaneously develop. They are learned in childhood where we are growing rapidly and learning to become integrated functioning human beings. These vulnerabilities are the result of the legacy toxic shame that we are left with from years of betrayal from those who professed to love us and who were supposed to help … Continue reading How Abusers Use Your Vulnerabilities Against You

Why Did I Get Involved with a Jerk and What Can I Do About It?

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Reprinted from September 15, 2013 I have been puzzled for many years with the answers to these questions: “Why would any decent person get involved with a jerk, Why do bullies target certain people?” And “What do you do to prevent getting hooked up with these idiots in the future?” After researching for over 20 years, I … Continue reading Why Did I Get Involved with a Jerk and What Can I Do About It?

How to Survive the Holidays with Narcissists

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Having no contact with narcissists can be most challenging during the holidays when narcissistic abusers typically exhibit their worst behaviors and also use the “spirit” of the season to play on our sympathies, guilt, and exaggerated shame. Holidays provide a perfect time for the narcissists and their flying monkeys to try to hog all the … Continue reading How to Survive the Holidays with Narcissists

Can Malignant Narcissism Be Cured?

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Here’s the simple answer: No! Can narcissists have redeeming character traits? Intelligence? Of course they can. But they permanently lack the qualities we as humans need to build and sustain integrity of character and meaningful healthy relationships. Therapy can help narcissists put on the brakes if they go to therapy and the therapists are skilled in their … Continue reading Can Malignant Narcissism Be Cured?

What You Don’t Know About Dysfunctional Families, Pain-Based Thinking, and Intergenerational Abuse

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Bringing clarity to the root causes and sources of the family dysfunction will significantly help alleviate the self-blame and shame that abuse survivors experience and clear a path to healing and recovery. Dysfunctional abusive families are fueled by unhealed pain-based maladaptive thinking that has been passed on from generation to generation to generation. Most recently, epigenetic studies are exploring the factors that … Continue reading What You Don’t Know About Dysfunctional Families, Pain-Based Thinking, and Intergenerational Abuse

Control and Personal Power in Power Imbalanced Relationships

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “If we live in fear of anything, we give it the power to overcome us.” ~ Michele O’Donnell, Healer, Minister, Author, and Counselor I have been researching personal power and how it relates to personal success and happiness for decades. Sadly, this is what I discovered. That we have been misinformed about the … Continue reading Control and Personal Power in Power Imbalanced Relationships

Power Imbalance in Abusive Relationships – Part 2

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter This is Part 2 in a two part series on power imbalance in abusive relationships. Part 1 discusses misperceptions on the relationship between abusers and their victims and describes the predatory aspects of abuse and the not so obvious causes of power imbalance in abusive relationships. Part 2 discusses further the differences between aggression, … Continue reading Power Imbalance in Abusive Relationships – Part 2