Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Here’s the simple answer: No! Can narcissists have redeeming character traits? Intelligence? Of course they can. But they permanently lack the qualities we as humans need to build and sustain integrity of character and meaningful healthy relationships. Therapy can help narcissists put on the brakes if they go to therapy and the therapists are skilled in their … Continue reading Can Malignant Narcissism Be Cured?
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Bringing clarity to the root causes and sources of the family dysfunction will significantly help alleviate the self-blame and shame that abuse survivors experience and clear a path to healing and recovery. Dysfunctional abusive families are fueled by unhealed pain-based maladaptive thinking that has been passed on from generation to generation to generation. Most recently, epigenetic studies are exploring the factors that … Continue reading What You Don’t Know About Dysfunctional Families, Pain-Based Thinking, and Intergenerational Abuse
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “If we live in fear of anything, we give it the power to overcome us.” ~ Michele O’Donnell, Healer, Minister, Author, and Counselor I have been researching personal power and how it relates to personal success and happiness for decades. Sadly, this is what I discovered. That we have been misinformed about the … Continue reading Control and Personal Power in Power Imbalanced Relationships
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter This is Part 2 in a two part series on power imbalance in abusive relationships. Part 1 discusses misperceptions on the relationship between abusers and their victims and describes the predatory aspects of abuse and the not so obvious causes of power imbalance in abusive relationships. Part 2 discusses further the differences between aggression, … Continue reading Power Imbalance in Abusive Relationships – Part 2
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter This is Part 1 in a two part series on power imbalance in abusive relationships, common misperceptions, causes and effects of power imbalance, and how to correct them. Part 2 discusses further the differences between aggression, power, and control in abusive relationships and how healing allows us to access and rely comfortably on our … Continue reading Power Imbalance in Abusive Relationships – Part 1
The damage from narcissistic abuse is insipid and insidious and the emotional harm from it can be traumatizing. However, do not think for one second that you are defenseless or powerless to narcissists. Narcissists are energy vampires. They cannot generate their own power or energy. In fact, they in themselves are powerless. We fear them … Continue reading Three Ways to Maintain Your Self-Preservation When Dealing With a Narcissist
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “…our pain-based emotions become faulty and lose their intended design functions of being reliable protective safety measures and providing depth and color to our lives. They go haywire and rather than protect us, do us more harm and our children more harm as we teach the same distorted thinking patterns to them as … Continue reading How Emotions Go Haywire in Abuse Survivors
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter I hear frequently from readers who fear they are the narcissist and the one with the personality disorder. My answer? “Absolutely not!” This distorted thinking is a consequence of prolonged abuse that started in childhood and its traumatic impacts on your beliefs, self-worth, self-assurance, gauges of reasoning, and your abilities to trust … Continue reading Am I The Narcissist?
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter If you are or have been in a relationship with a narcissist or were raised by or among one or more, you have been traumatized by and suffered what I believe is the worst psychological and emotional abuse imaginable. The harm is immeasurable and can go on for years. You will read over … Continue reading 8 Effective Ways to Outsmart a Narcissist
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “We cannot see our souls or what we call our self-esteem. However, we know that our souls need to be nourished consistently to sustain our joy.” Truth is again on my mind like usual or more accurately “the search for truth” and its role in nurturing our souls. Here are my thoughts: We cannot … Continue reading How Do We Nourish Our Own Souls
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Have you noticed that the most toxic people have the biggest and the most fragile egos? Ever wondered why? They are part of the facade, the illusion of smoke and mirrors masking a core of deep-seated shame and self-loathing and powerlessness. They are crude covertly aggressive parasitic attempts at taking others’ power for selfish self-serving purposes by those … Continue reading Why are Narcissists Self-Righteous and Manipulative?
Well, the experts are not exactly sure and frequently argue the causes between nature and nurture. Some say genetic disposition. Some say abuse, specifically invalidation including neglect and coddling, the same things in actuality that damage children who go on to become abused adults and targets of narcissists. One thing for sure is that both the narcissists and their targets … Continue reading What Causes Malignant Narcissism?
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter “People who sincerely care about you will actively listen and follow. Those who don’t will not. Healing is a time of self-evaluation that provides a great opportunity to clean your closet of legacy unhealthy relationships that are supporting the narcissist’s dirty dealings and preventing your healing and hindering your happiness.” I read … Continue reading Narcissistic Harm by Proxy
Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter Ever heard “you shouldn’t feel that way” or “don’t feel that way” or my favorite, “get over it.” This is the single most damaging thing anyone could say to another human being. And this is why. Our feelings and emotions and even our pain-based ones are here to protect us! Our feelings are our … Continue reading You Shouldn’t Feel That Way
8/1/15 Hello, Evelyn. I just wanted to take the time and let you know that your advice on dealing with the narcs in our life is greatly appreciated…I read your posts daily and it has been a great help!!! I’m finally healing…and my children are slowly healing along with me. Thank you!! Once again. H. S.