Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter

Happy New Year!!

As we enter the New Year, this is what’s on my mind.

When times get rough or complicated and for sure, they will, here are the twenty fundamental truths I remember:

1. Live in the moment. Be grateful for what you have and not long for what you don’t. If you have a roof over your head, food to eat, people who love you, and your health, you have everything. Thanks, Mom.
2. You were born lovable and do not have to suffer or self sacrifice to be lovable or worthy of love. There will not be another you in the history of the universe. Live in your own truth and do not live others’ lies that make them happy and leave you lacking and miserable.
3. Happiness is a state of mind that comes and goes. But we are happiest when our lives are in balance, and living our personal truth, when we are achieving our financial, spiritual, community, relationship, and health goals. If you are not where you want to be, research how to get there, set a goal, make a plan and go and get it. Accept that this takes hard work and does not come for free and that you deserve it. These are the differences between dreamers and doers, between those who are content and those who are not.
4. No one is immune from being evil. Financial success or lack of it has nothing to do with emotional health or personal integrity. Millionaires as well as poor people can be serial killers, evil, narcissists, and psychopaths too.
5. Just because someone says they love you, does not mean they do in a way you deserve to be loved or in a healthy manner.
6. Understand that in emotionally healthy relationships, boundaries are respected including your privacy, feelings, beliefs, needs and emotions and you should never have to defend these to anyone or have them habitually violated.
7. Emotionally unhealthy people cannot handle the truth and shadow their brokenness on unwilling targets as a coping mechanism because they lack self coping skills and the level of compassion that would prevent them from using others for self-serving ways.
8. If you are a compassionate empathetic person, BEWARE. Manipulators target compassionate empathetic people who themselves typically were also survivors of childhood abuse. To stop the cycle of abuse you must understand this in order to take the steps to stop being a victim.
9. To prevent being a target of the emotionally unhealthy people including abusers, be careful advertising too much of your personal business freely, and being overly honest….emotionally unhealthy people interpret this as permission to violate your personal boundaries and you are setting yourself up to being scapegoated, lied about and targeted for others’ personal gain. Don’t lie…just don’t say anything.
10. Never settle for less than what you want and deserve…if you do settle and end up being used, taken advantage of or neglected, it is because you have self worth issues that 99% of the time were the result of your upbringing.
11. Don’t misinterpret drama or lack of it with emotional health or happiness. Environments without drama can be filled with covert aggressives and closet addicts just like drama filled ones can be ripe with overt aggressors, boundary violators, abusers, and addicts.
12. You are paid for the value of the services you provide. This is why when you are young it is important to pick a career that will pay you to live a lifestyle you are accustomed to. If you are not paid enough, increase your skills, knowledge and abilities in the field you are in or pick a different career.
13. Never stop learning. Stay relevant and never stop exploring or stop moving.
14. Always look your best for yourself first but remember you also only have one time to make a first impression.
15. Make sure you save enough money to live a comfortable life and have medical coverage in your old age. Start saving EARLY and learn how to invest wisely because your accounts will go up exponentially with interest on interest.
16. Take charge of your physical and mental health. Take good care of yourself all your life!! Do not become an ailment or link your identify to it or let it stop you from enjoying a fulfilling life. You are larger that that! You do have the divine ability to heal yourself and alleviate your aches and pains. Don’t rely solely on a pill to take care of your ailments. If you do not know how, take stress and pain management classes and learn biofeedback classes, yoga anything that will teach you to connect to, use and hone your cognitive skills and to the metaphysical part of yourself and life.
17. Do what you can, accept what is, and turn the rest over to your spiritual father or source. Understand that you, we all have personal limitations and tolerance levels. When you have exhausted everything within your power, pray, meditate, appeal to higher powers.
18. When people we love pass on, their souls live on through us, in our thoughts, in our feelings, in our dreams, when we miss them. Find ways to keep their spirits alive so others can benefit from them as well.
19. Evil people “go to hell” because when they leave this earth, they are gone for good. No one misses them. They leave memories people quickly forget.

Happy New Year!

Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter