Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter

I received this compelling and disturbing question from a community member at the Yourlifelifter Facebook page.

“Ok, so I have seen this mentioned here many times…the point about ‘the abuser finds us, we don’t find them.’ I figured now is a good time to ask what this means, exactly? In my case, I feel like it was on me…I noticed him in a crowd, and my subtle yet repeated glances were totally intentional…I wanted to talk to him but didn’t want to approach him. So this finally got his attention and eventually he approached me. I feel like we may never have met if not for me doing that. (of course I didn’t know at first sight what and who he was, but regardless I sort of initiated our connection).

This, among other things, has always made it even harder for me to stop questioning myself…