Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter

To put it simply, as related to humans, a family is a group of people who are connected in some way. We have birth families who are connected by genetics. We also have our group of connected friends or neighbors or communities such as Yourlifelifter that are our “families.” We all create and become part of “families” separate from our birth family all the time.

Whichever the case, this I know for sure. The rules of emotional health apply to ALL families and all relationships and moreso:

• A family of birth is not exempt from these rules because they are genetically related. Invisible genetics do not entitle people to abuse, ignore, neglect, degrade, denigrate, betray, abandon, and crap on others.

Read more how intergenerational abuse is perpetuated here.

• Our rights and authorities as humans and citizens do not change because we are related by birth. It does not give people a right to profess to love you and habitually betray you, abuse you, single you out, and abandon you in your time of need.

• A “family” is not entitled to habitually violate each other’s personal boundaries and disrespect and dishonor their personal rights and feed off of the personal power they take from others to feed the gaps in their psyches.

• A “family” is not a bunch of people who selectively choose to put the undeserving Golden Children on pedestals and scapegoat, crap on, and exploit the kind-hearted, empathetic, smart, bright, talented, and compassionate ones.

• A “family” does not choose who stays and whom they target, betray and abandon because they did not suit them.

Read more on how intergenerational abuse is perpetuated here.

A position in a loving family is a role of honor that is earned by showing the members love, honor and respect in the same way we do them. That is what emotionally healthy mutually beneficial relationships are. That is what love is. And we ALL deserve that –  every darn single one of us! That is a universal right as a human being that we are all born with.

So rid yourself of the toxic people in your life and go out and choose your loving family and selectively allow in only those who love, honor and respect you in the same way you do them. And start creating your own customs, joy, and memories with those who deserve your love and respect.

And when you find your family, those whose truth aligns with yours, THAT is real LOVE and when the magic starts.