Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter
“The fabric woven by our forefathers that sustains our livelihood and supports our collective happiness and emotional and physical fitness is unraveling. The needle on the moral and ethical compass that supports them has been replaced with a pain- and fear- based one. So rather than use and improve the system that sustains and nurtures us to be our best and soothe and relieve our emotional pain, we desperately are exploiting it to fill gaps in our psyches. We have become a savage aggressive pain based people who exploit others for power and validation rather than authentic self sustaining people who source them internally within our own selves. We have become saboteurs of our own happiness.”
Abuse of power, exploitation of people’s fear and pains, and violation of their basic human
rights are the bases of wars. No where is this message more evident than in the United States where these depraved yet human qualities led to the evolution of its Democratic political system, Constitution, Bill of Rights, and governmental structure. They all were founded on the premise that we are born with inalienable rights to pursue life, liberty and happiness with due and much consideration that we had to live in a collective society and were interdependent on each other and were differing and fallible emotional humans with common and, yet, diverse needs. The fundamental goal was to create peace and harmony from chaos by improving the thinking that creates the chaos. Our laws provided a way to manage the chaos and risks associated with being human and living together civilly not savagely.
However, the fabric woven by our forefathers that sustains our livelihood and fuels our collective happiness and emotional and physical fitness is unraveling. The needle on the moral and ethical compass that supports them has been replaced with a pain- and fear- based one. So rather than use and improve the system that sustains and nurtures us to be our best and soothe and relieve our emotional pain, we desperately are exploiting it to fill gaps in our psyches. We have become a savage aggressive pain based people who exploit others for power and validation rather than authentic self sustaining loving and lovable people who source them internally within our own selves. We have become saboteurs of our own happiness.
“We cannot engage in mutually beneficially dialogue and have mutually beneficial relationships if we see others of our kind as prey.”
We are a world in crisis with a pandemic of emotionally unhealthy and pain-filled people who are not able to source their worth and strength from their own selves. We have a pandemic of reactive codependent people who need to source their strength and worth from others and are parasitizing each other for emotional relief. We have become an emotionally unfit aggressive and angry world whose maladaptive thinking and behaviors are causing extreme chaos that if not addressed will lead to our self-destruction. No where has this been demonstrated more than during and after the United States Presidential campaign and election.
We need to “get back to the basics” and heal and rebuild the moral and ethical foundation that supports development of integrity of character in our children as young as possible and stop promoting pathologically narcissistic disordered characters and codependent wounded ones who lack the character, personal fortitude and self-worth to sustain themselves. To heal the world, we must heal ourselves.
Read more here on the Five Pillars of Personal Power, Worth and Authenticity
Read more on the pandemic of narcissism across the world.
We cannot benefit by moral-, ethics, principle-, and Christian-based laws that support our rights and sustain our collective livelihood if we lack the character that obligates and motivates us to believe in and consciously live by them and compassionately support others in their quests to do the same. We cannot do so if we see others of our own kind as prey to exploit to serve us rather than as equals with the same rights and freedom and we coexist with, depend on and work with to sustain our futures.
If we do not get rid of our pain, we just transfer it to others and to the next generation and teach them to depend on others rather than their own selves to alleviate it.
The world needs to heal and takes its power back! To heal the world, we must heal children and to heal our children we must heal ourselves.
I cover much more on how to heal to source your own power and worth in my book Take Your Power Back: Healing Lessons, Tips and Tools for Abuse Survivors.
Yourlifelifter 
Reblogged this on Life, Health, Career Coaching.
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When you arrive at your own truth, it’s scary as all hell, but there’s no where to go but up. It hurts so terribly bad, to know and feel the full ramification of my Mother’s abuse, which started in my infancy. I was so numb to the pain for so long, I kept going back again and again, to try to win her love….since a part of me felt lovable, and others outside of the family took a liking to me…yet the more I achieved and the more validation I got from the outside, the more she needed to push me down. I have spent my whole adult life trying to figure out this wound. Being scapegoated was probably my saving grace, since I could more clearly see and feel things from a distance, and could thus consider other options besides my family dynamic, since my family was so dysfunctional. But at such cost!! My mother beat me so bad as a child that I was scared to death of her. I had trouble learning to speak because of this huge fear of her, and her reaction was to make fun of my attempts. It was horribly cruel. That has been the recurring theme in my relationship with her. She makes fun of me because I have few friends, but the reason I have few friends is because I have very legitimate trust issues, as a result of her betrayal. Most of my adult life I have blamed myself, since I believed as a child that I was responsible for the abuse. So when I speak about arriving at my truth, it means having strong enough boundaries to counter their slings and arrows, and to push them back where they rightfully belong. It’s not me, it’s them! The path to getting here has been a long and frightful one of repeat after repeat. When you dissociate as a rule, it’s hard to learn lessons because you fear being in your body and feeling it. My whole world became shattered when a therapist I hired, who was supposed to be a healer, ended up being a sexual predator and sadistic narcissist. How can anyone be so low, as to prey upon vulnerable people coming to them for support, and under the guise of being special, an energy healer? Now I see the extent of the injury by my Mother. How could a Mother do this to a child? Both perpetrators hid the abuse behind a false self that others chose to believe in. But one thing I have learned and that is that the curtain eventually starts to crumble, especially when people like myself start to own their own power. With both my Mother and this therapist, they have to put me in a box and make me less than, in order to control and dominate me…when the truth of the matter is, they fear what I have. Even after all of the abuse I have retained some sense of my truth and innocence, and this is what they gave up in themselves…or had taken away. It was done to them so they feel they must do it to you. I tried to have a conversation with my Mother during the holidays, she is after all 85 years old and her sister is dying. 1) She made fun of the fact that I now have my own office at work…she laughed in my face…like how on earth could you be worthy enough for that (she has to keep me in that little box, that I am less than her); and 2) she made fun of a woman friend who is suffering from brain cancer, a woman who happened to be my fourth grade teacher and the first person to pull me out of my deep shell. My mother used to be jealous of this woman, who is kind and pretty, and her petty remark was, “Oh, Laura Pike used to be so prim and proper”, like my Mother somehow had it over her now, finally. It was so disgusting now that I think about it. I don’t need people like this in my life, even if they are family. This is what the holidays have taught me. I am scared to death of these changes, but one thing about me, is that I do not lack courage. I went through the worst of it all, crawling up from the negative numbers as a child. If I did it then, I can do it now. Thanks for listening!
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